Rachel has seemed pretty content just being herself lately, so I should have guessed it was time for a change. Today at lunch she marched into the kitchen and whispered (in a loud, dramatic whisper that she has perfected) that she was the Emperor.I guess she also got it in her head that the proper way for an emperor to speak is to whisper, because for the next 10 minutes or so she spoke only in whispers. They were very commanding, emperor-type whispers, though.
Here's how our meal went:
Me: Rachel, your apricot jam sandwich is ready!
Rachel (whispering): My name is NOT Rachel. Call me Emperor.
Me: Okay, Emperor, your apricot jam sandwich is ready.
Rachel (whispering): I don't eat sandwiches.
Me: Oh. What do you eat?
Rachel (whispering): I eat animals.
Me: Oh, okay. Well, your apricot jam animal is ready.
Rachel (huge glare in my direction. Still whispering): I only eat DEAD animals.
Me (pointing to the clearly lifeless peanut-butter sandwich): It is dead.
Rachel (huge glare again. No longer whispering): I am in charge of you. I am THE EMPEROR!
At this point Oliver, who had just been listening quietly as he ate his own sandwich, decided to enter the conversation.
Oliver: Mom, I think YOU should be the Emperor, because you're actually in charge of her.
Me: Thank you, Oliver.
Rachel: No, Ollie, I really am in charge of her.
Oliver: Well, that doesn't even make sense because she's older than you. Why don't you let Mom be the Emperor, I'll be Darth Vader, and you can be Jabba the Hutt.
Rachel: Noooo!
Rachel: I just want to be normal. Let's just eat.
Me: Good idea.
7 comments:
Love that story! Your kids are so funny. Keep posting these stories!
Oh man! That's hilarious!!! I want to have kids! But only if they do funny things like that!... ok, I'll probably love them even if they're not funny. I loved Ollie's contribution to the conversation!
Your kids say the funniest things...mine are kind of boring. Maybe I need to pay better attention!
Poppy, I've met your kids, and I know for sure they're not boring.
I bet you tell Danny about funny things the kids say to you during the day all the time - you just need to write them down, and there you go: funny story.
You seriously need to publish a book about the hilarious things your kids say. I'm laughing so hard right now, they are too stinking funny!
I read this to Chad out loud, and I couldn't even get through it because I was laughing so hard. She is way too funny. It's nice that you have Ollie on your side.
I'm with Marian...I could not get through the story because of how hilarious it is. Oh I love her and I love Ollie. I love you guys! Audra
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